Friday, December 19, 2008

Archives Part Deux

Another from Nov of 05. I still find it amusing though.

Alright time to piss people off. New music sucks. I said it. I'm tired of listening to B97 in the weight room. I really want to get into better shape, but since my mp3 player is not functioning properly right now, I feel like stabbing myself in the eardrums with ice picks after about 5 minutes of being there listening to solid crap. What ever happened to real music played by real musicians, and meaningful song lyrics by people who could actually lend feeling to the song? The acoustic guitar and harmonica are practically gone in popular music, replaced by computer beats and other random noise.

My only conclusion I can come to is people are stupid. I can understand if some people like to dance and like a few rap songs because of that. Personally I hate it, but then again I don't like to dance. I like to wear my cowboy hat, drink beer and listen to dumb country songs because that's what I do, but I realize they aren't the best songs in the world, just good to drink to. So if someone likes that music to dance to, but still appreciates good stuff then no complaints from me (as long as I don't have to hear it), but some people actually like only bad music. This baffles me. Not to mention the actual musicianship and vocals (which can't be done very well over the net without audio) here are some examples of just what is wrong with lyrics. I understand many rappers and pop singers want to get laid, which is admirable, but at least write some good lyrics or at very least make sexual play on words like they did in the 80's.

Note: I actually listened to these songs on Rhapsody to make sure they were bad so I had some merit for criticizing them. I found a few songs that were actually decent enough (not good, but decent) to not be included in this study.

Example #1 Run It by Chris Brown (currently #2 on the charts)
I got friends, and you got friends
They hop out, and you hop in I look fly, and they jockin
The way you drop, drop makes me wanna pop
The way you drop, drop makes me wanna pop

Is he dropping a deuce? Does this excite him? I have no idea what's going on so let's review a better set of lyrics

Across The Universe (J. Lennon)
Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe

Ah full of similes and imagery. It's almost poetic. The only way it could be better is if he mentioned how the images were "jockin'"

Example #2 My Humps - Black Eyed Peas (currently #3 on the Top 40)
What you gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’m a get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)

I know when I am trying to pick up a woman, I tell her how I'm going to get her drunk, talk about her fat ass, and hump her. That's very romantic.
Let's see how Mr. Neil Young writes

Like A Hurricane
You are like a hurricane
There’s calm in your eye.
And I’m gettin’ blown away
To somewhere safer where the feeling stays.
I want to love you but I’m getting blown away.

Hmmm..again similes and imagery. The double meaning of the word eye. Great lyrics.Alright one more

Example #3 Holla back girl by Gwen Stefani
A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just goin' to happen like that
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl I ain't no holla back girl
ooh, this my shit , this my shit

Wow, people actually like this music. No, seriously. Are we supposed to be attracted to Gwen Stefani's feces? Again I'm confused.

Love and a .45 (Chris Knight)
Parole number fourteen two
Stands on the corner like she used to do
She's been away awhile so she's a little afraid
And the judge said he didn't want to see her again
But she's got no money she's got no rent
The money she had is already spent
Cause a couple of weeks ago she learned her lesson
Went and brought herself a little Smith and Wesson
Love and a 45 Are all you need to get thru the night
One'll kill you one'll keep you alive Love and a 45

Wow a song that tells a story. And a chorus where it gives the two subject matters the opposite connotation of their usual associations. Bravo Mr. Knight. That his shit! That his shit!

Hmmm...I rather like making sarcastic comments about bad songs. Perhaps I shall do it more often. I hope it amuses my readers as much as it does me:)

From the archives

An entry I posted in my live journal a few years ago. A little outdated, but a lot is still relevant.

"Country music sucks" -spoken by countless people I've heard.

Obviously I disagree with this statement, but if my only knowledge of country music came from listening to Nashville music I would probably agree. Popular country music for the most part isn't actually country music. It's pop music with a steel guitar thrown in. Artists are made to produce money and catchy hooks, actual music quality and craftsmanship be damned.

I don't want trite love songs sung by voices with no soul in them. To paraphrase David Allan Coe, it ain't a real country song unless you mention mamas...or trucks...or trains...or prison....or getting drunk. To update it a bit any references to cowboys, gospel or other artists or songs is also acceptable.

There's a reason I hate emo music. I really don't want to hear some depressing song about how your daddy didn't love you enough when were growing up. Music is supposed to be fun, not make me want to kill myself.

In that mode, in a country song I don't want to hear about how someone you loved died (unless you killed them) or how somebody you don't really even seem to know has cancer. If you are going to write a depressing song, at least make sure the singer sounds rugged or fits the song (i.e. Monday Morning Church, anything by Cash).

Country & Western music is Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, etc. When I think of those names I think of country music. Even most "country-haters" like the real country music. On the other hand, when I think of Keith Urban's music or new Rascal Flatts it makes me want to throw up in my mouth. How is this classified as country at all?

Real country music still exists, only it's found in "Texas Country" which never gets played on the radio. These songs are real, not just a way to make a quick dollar. Pick up some Cross Canadian Ragweed, Shooter Jennings, Reckless Kelly, or Drive By Truckers and you'll see what real country music is about.

Now to finally get to what inspired this post I listened to Big & Rich's new album in full today. Pure and complete crap! It's amazing how on one album a new group can show promise and make me look forward to the next album, only to totally turn country pop and make horrible music a year later. While really only known for Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy, their first album contained many true country songs about cowboys, outlaws, God and lots of other stuff that sounds like good country. The new album sounds like everything else crappy on the radio now. I don't think I've been this disappointed in a new album since...umm...last year when Kenny decided to turn totally crappy. At least there were some warning signs there as most of his early career stuff was crappy. Big & Rich just turned overnight.

When I first thought of this, it struck me as odd that perhaps one of country's biggest names and one of the first pioneers (well of modern times anyway) to successfully cross over with country music into the pop stream is one of my favorite artists. Garth definitely made country cool to listen to again and led into this new country. It seemed odd to me I still love most of Garth's stuff, but dislike a majority of the pop country stuff that floods the airwaves now.

After analyzing it though it makes sense. It takes a greater talent to cross into a new territory than to follow into that same place. The first artists to do something new have the talent to do it, and then once it becomes mainstream all the knock-offs with lesser talent come. I like The Sex Pistols and the Ramones, but don't like a whole lot of punk. I loved Nirvana and Pearl Jam, but I hate most of the grunge stuff that is on the radio now. It's not Nirvana, Pearl Jam and to a slightly lesser degree Neil Young's fault they created a new grunge sound and newer lesser talented bands copied them.

I guess everything goes in cycles. Hopefully someday good music will actually be the stuff that's popular as well. Maybe another Johnny Cash, Beatles, Zeppelin, Nirvana, etc. will come around and give music a kick in the butt, but until then I get my rants:)

Pot, Kettle, Black

"So kids: Start rock bands. Set down the 'Guitar Hero,' learn how to play an actual guitar and start a band, because it's hard to find more bands to put a solid rock-and-roll package together, to get out there."

-Chad Kroeger (MTV Interview)

When Guitar Hero games first came out, it was all the rage of actual musicians to deride playing a game on a little plastic controller. Over the past few years, more and more bands have gotten involved with Rock Band and Guitar Hero and been eager in licensing songs. Lesser known bands who have had songs included on games have grown a small following that would probably not exist otherwise (Bang Camaro rocks!) Additionally many kids who had never heard classic rock before are getting introduced to the likes of The Who and Rush which can only be a good thing going forward.

On a tangent, playing the Rock Band 2 set up at Best Buy made me have one of the few "I'm old" moments in my nearly 27 years. While playing with two teens, I gutted it through some of their crappy metal music and then when they offered to let me pick a song, I asked them if they'd ever heard of Pearl Jam since Alive is one of my all time favorites and I was really looking forward to it being on the disc. One kid shook his head and the other said, "I don't know that song, but I've heard of Pearl Jam"

ANYWAY, little plastic guitars and plastic drums don't musicians make, but it sure doesn't hurt. How many people have mastered the game and decided to go out and buy real instruments and learn for real? Would these same people have taken up this interest without the game? Highly unlikely.

I personally very rarely play the guitar on these games. I can play guitar in real life. Playing on a plastic controller has never appealed to me and often times I would become frustrated with the charting of a particular song and just shut off the game and pick up a real guitar and play it anyway. But to someone who has no musical background it can be a good gateway. Now that I've learned lots of basic drumming lessons, I would love to try a real drum set to see how well the skills translate.

Saying that Rock Band/Guitar Hero ruin music is one of the most inaccurate statements I've heard in a while. You know what ruins music? Crappy no-talent bands who are bland across the board. Bands who hit it big 8 years ago with a semi-good single whose entire catalog sounds like that one song with different lyrics. You know, bands like Nickelback.

So Chad Kroeger, STFU. I'll pluck some string on my Martin and then I'll sit in front of my plastic drum set and rock out to all my favorite music and maybe even discover a great new band in the process. Luckily, it doesn't appear my Rock Band will ever be ruined with a Nickelback song.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Album Review: Cowboy Mouth-Fearless

One of my more random music discoveries occured a few years ago while viewing my friend's livejournal post. He was complaining about how when he was younger, his parents wouldn't let him go to see bands like Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden, Sublime or Cowboy Mouth.

One of these things is not like the other. So armed with Rhapsody I decided to get to know the music of Cowboy Mouth and it turned out it was pretty good. It just so happened that a month later they were performing at the Music Mill in Indianapolis so a group of us decided to go check them out.

I'll start a new paragraph for this one. Cowboy Mouth puts on the best live show I've ever seen. I had liked the stuff I heard online, but it was nothing compared to the experience of being at the show. The drummer was the front man and wore a Drew Brees jersey and no shoes. There was so much energy and crowd participation. We were all exhausted after seeing them play, which I'm pretty sure was a concert first. Needless to say Cowboy Mouth has become one of my favorite bands. I've seen them live 5 times and will continue to go anytime they are in the area because it never gets old. At their last show, they mentioned their new album coming out, which I ordered from amazon as soon as it came out.

Since I've been obsessed with Rock Band lately, everytime I hear songs, I think about how good of a rock band track it would make, especially for drumming. This would definitely be a great downloadable album.

While it's hard to capture the energy and emotion of the live show on a cd, this comes pretty close. And since they performed several of these in concert before the album came out, I can always close my eyes and imagine how it was live.

Two of these songs were previously released on other albums as Cowboy Mouth is wont to do at times. They edited Disconnected (boo censorship) and also redid Tell The Girl You're Sorry which is quite a funny song.

The first part of the album is very strong and vintage Cowboy Mouth. Griff's token song "Follow Me" is also good with a little Black Crowes vibe to it. The last few tracks are a little weak, but still not horrible. Listening to the first eight songs is an absolute delight. In particular I'm fond of "Anything" which to my knowledge is the first uplifting bitter song I've ever heard. The lyrics describe how he's strong and can live through anything now that his girlfriend used him and left him. I had recently been through a break-up very similar so this became a theme song of sorts for me.

Overall this is a very strong album, I would recommend to anyone who enjoys the mellower alternative sound or just good old-fashioned roots rock. I only wish there was a wardrobe option in Rock Band to make your drummer barefoot. Oh well, maybe Rock Band 2 will fix it.

Rating 8/10
Notable songs: "Anything", "Belly", "Tell The Girl You're Sorry", "Kelly Ripa"

Song associations

I've noticed over the years that sometimes liking a song completely transcends the song itself. Sometimes when I hear a song I instantly associate it with a past life event, sweet or bitter (or bittersweet). Some of my personal associations

"Pepper-Butthole Surfers" During a senior year road trip to Vegas, we inexplicably played this song over and over. I still don't remember why, but now whenever I hear it, I think about driving through north Texas in the middle of the night

Memory factor: Sweet

"Wild Horses-Rolling Stones" A girl I dated a few years back was just beginning to get into classic rock. She asked me what my favorite Stones song was and responded with this, which she had never heard and ended up falling in love with also. We broke up 3 years ago and sporadically keep in touch, but stil everytime I hear this song, it makes me think of her.

Memory factor: Bittersweet

"I Never Wanna F'in See You Again-Rich Hardesty" This stems from a tiff I had with a female friend/fraternity brother's girlfriend several years ago. My roommate joined in with the argument so anytime she was around we just blared this song on repeat. Ironically, she's one of my closer friends now.

Memory factor: Bitter, although now just funny

"Ride With Me-Nelly" As a rule, I generally dislike rap songs, but senior year a group of friends and I all designated our own personal drinking song. I don't even remember what mine was anymore, but one of my roommates chose this and also came up with one of the stupidest looking white boy dances ever to go along with it.

Memory factor: Sweet

"No Rain-Blind Melon" A fraternity brother of mine had almost a polar oppsoite musical taste of me despite liking the same genre. He made me hate DMB even more, made me dislike Cake and even Pearl Jam by constantly overplaying everything. I love Pearl Jam, but it took me a few years after college to be ok to listen to them again. I associate this song with him because he was a huge Blind Melon fan, but absolutely hated this song even though it's the only song by them people know and really about the only semi-decent Blind Melon song.

Memory factor: Bitter

"Piano Man-Billy Joel" At a close friend's wedding reception several years back the Guinness was flowing freely. The night ended with everyone in a big circle on the dance floor swaying and singing along. Afterwards while climbing into our DD's van my friend was still singing with completely innaccurate lyrics. I kept punching him saying "Sing...the....right....words". This tradition had been carried on in a few other wedding receptions throughout the years, although usually without the punching.

Memory factor: Sweet

Youthful Angst

When I was younger, I was amazed most people tended to stick their defined genres and the songs they knew. While, I'm still on the lookout for new bands, I am starting to see that point of view. I'm 26 now, own a house and a dog, have a girlfriend and a full-time job that keeps me busy. No matter how much of a music fan I am, I just don't have the time I used to to search out new music.

In addition to that, I've noticed myself on a heavy 90's alternative kick lately. It harkens back to times when life was simpler and less stressful even if I wasn't happy at the time. It's funny how the human mind remembers the glory days of yesteryear without the downside.

Rock and Roll is a young man's genre. The greatest part about it is the angst involved. Once that disappears, it loses a little feeling. Time after time we've seen bands start off with a few good albums only to fade to obscurity.

Dying young is the best thing that can happen to an artist from a commercial standpoint. Release a few good albums, die of a heroin overdose, become famous. It's a tried and true method. There's no downslope to the career. Growing up, Nirvana was popular, but Pearl Jam and other similar bands were just as popular (at least where I lived). One gunshot and nearly 15 years later, Kurt Cobain is a rock god and Pearl Jam is a run of the mill band. Maybe this isn't quite a fair comparison since not much will top Nirvana in terms of influence, but they had a breakthrough album, one more album and a posthumous live set and left people wanting more. No missteps, no burnouts, just great music then a succinct end. If Eddie Vedder had died immediately after releasing Vs. and Nirvana had gone on to release some commercial flops, would history look at the two bands differently today?

It's better to burn out than to fade away. Ironically sung by one of the few rock heroes who did the latter. Mr Young could not have written a more accurate lyric though. My My Hey Hey.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The placenta falls for the floor

I've discovered my personal blog (which I often neglect for weeks at a time) most of my posts tend to be music related in some way. Most of my friends just smile and nod at those posts, while I stand on my high horse and preach to the world about how much the music I listen to rocks and how much everything else sucks (which quite frankly is true). So in order to spare them and possibly spur some interesting debates, I figured I'd start up a dedicated music blog. After all the world could always use more bloggers to keep people distracted from doing real work.

One caveat I give when I make music posts: Just because I insult music somebody likes, does not mean I am directly insulting that person. A few of my best friends have absolutely horrible tastes in music, which they are entitled to. It just means I probably can't spend more than 30 minutes in a car with them. If someone disagrees with me, because of a rational argument such as "That song has special meaning to me because...." or "I like this song because ", I can accept that even that song personally makes me want to jam an icepick in my ear. If someone responds with "I like that song because it's on the radio everyday and everyone else like it" or "shut up u suk that song rox" then I will laugh at them and be mercilessly sarcastic to them.

A good friend once dubbed me "The Santa Claus of Drinking Music" because I always had whatever anyone wanted to hear and generally knew everything most others played. It's a nickname that has stuck and I'm quite proud of it.